100 Flavors
by aug325
Summary: I met her when she was young. No relation to me. Who knew such a small event would play such significance in my life. 100 Theme Format. KakuTsu. Rating could change to "M"
1. Chapter 1

"Oy, Kakuzu…" Hidan turned his head to me.

I glanced up from Hamlet and looked at Hidan.

We were in the living room. Hidan was lying on the couch watching t.v., and I was in the lounge chair re-reading some of my old books. It was our day off today. No one else was in the headquarters today.

Hidan just squinted his eyes at me, as if he thought really hard from reaching this conclusion. "You have a girlfriend right?"

I glanced back down at my book. Not really reading it. But just staring at the page as to make it look like I'm reading.

"I desire not to put those types of labels on a relationship, but I'm seeing someone if that's what you mean." I replied calm non-caring voice.

Hidan stared at me for a long time before he just laughed.

"Hahaha! Man, shit, Now it'd be hilarious if you told me you were seeing someone like the Fifth Hokage or some shit like that…"

My eyes widened. I narrowed them at Hidan in a near death glare. How the hell could he have known? I made it sure to the best of my ability to keep this as secret from everyone. Hidan stared at my eyes, and his own widened at my reaction. I cursed Hidan for being one of the few people who can actually read my, as Kisame called it, "Poker Face".

"NO SHIT!" Hidan exclaimed. "Damn, Tobi was spreading a bullshit rumor about you fucking the Hokage, I thought he was full of crap!"

I extended my arm and punched Hidan square in the jaw. "I am simply seeing that woman. Nothing more." I growled.

Hidan cracked his neck a couple of times before replying to me like nothing happened, "But… You're in a relationship with the Hokage and all that shit?"

I glared menacingly at Hidan. "Yes." I replied simply.

Hidan shrugged. "Oy, Oy, Oy, no need to get angry. I won't tell a damn soul about this, seriously."

I glared longer at Hidan, knowing he wasn't the best person in the world that could keep secrets.

Hidan smirked. "Cross my heart and hope ta…. Ya know…seriously" he rolled his eyes.

I glared at him and tried to continue to read Hamlet. "You better be careful or I'll be deciding the cause of your death Hidan."

Hidan rolled his eyes. "There you go again….. Nah really man, I won't tell no one. I'm just curious. I wanted to know if the rumor was true or not. And now that I know…"

Hidan repositioned himself on the sofa. I felt a little skeptic. What would he ask me?

"She's the Hokage, a damn powerful lady, and you're an Akatsuki, a rouge ninja in search of Jinchuuriki. How the fuck did you two meet?"

I paused. I slowly closed my book and looked upwards, thinking. That takes me back.

Hidan smirked and laughed at me. "Probably some dumb cheep ass casino or bar, or both." He snorted. Maybe the idea of me getting drunk and gambling was humorous to him. Gambling is something I would never invest my time on. Even if I was plastered out of my skull.

"No." I said simply thinking back.

"It wasn't a bar, or a casino."

Hidan cocked an eyebrow.

It was ironic it was the First Hokage's house that I met her. Ironic because it was my mission to assassinate the first Hokage. Ironic because it was a stealth mission. Ironic because I was discovered, by a little girl. No older then Five or so. My eyes were wide and my breathing was raced as this little girl found me in the middle of the night, only a few steps away from my goal of Hashirama's bedroom. I was frozen for a few brief second, weighing my options. I could just kill her quickly and silently, and silence her. The only problem, this particular assassin mission did not require unnecessary killing. My village only wanted Konahakure Hokage's head. I was supposed to spare as many of the villagers as I possibly could.

The Little girl stared at me with wide brown eyes, completely unafraid of me. She then said to me, in a quiet voice, so as not to wake the First Hokage, "Hello, Stranger."

I stared at her. "You're…. not from here are you, Stranger?"

I held my ground against the small girl. As long as she was in the way between the Hokage's room and me, I could not act. I could kill her, but it would result in a bad mission report, plus, it could risk her screaming for help.

"Yup. I see that headband. You're from the Waterfall Village, for sure, yep."

She stared at me, then seemed flustered by the fact I didn't say anything, or maybe it was my intimidating glare, or how I tall I was compared to her small frame. I was more confused as to why she wasn't scared of me. A masked foreign ninja this close to the Hokage late at night in the middle of warfare between our villages, you think she would understand what is going on.

She then spoke up slightly. She had a tough tomboy voice. "My name is Tsunade, granddaughter of the Hokage, and bigger sister to Baby Nawaki."

My eyes flickered. Granddaughter to the Hokage. That could come in handy. It would be better if I take her hostage here.

"Now what's your name?"

My eyes narrowed. "Why." I replied in my own deep voice.

She stared at me. "It's honorable for an opponent to know the name of whom their fighting."

I tried not to chuckle. The idea of a five year old girl fighting me is suicidal. She'd die in one hit. I conceded to her request. "My name is Kakuzu from Takigakure."

The little girl who's name was Tsunade smiled. "Pleasure to meet you, . Brace yourself!" She said and charged me. I dodged easily, and as soon as I turned to hit her, a tree branch rammed me in the stomach. I found myself trapped immediately with coils of wood. I found myself facing the raging furry of Hashirama Hokage. Tsunade expression changed. She looked scared for me. I glared at the brat. So ruined my chance of a successful mission. I smirked remembering. I sure didn't go down that easy though, I remembered. That battle lasted until the sun rose. I was near close to death, I remember the small girl yelling at her grandfather to stop, which distracted Hashirama, I was able to get away, back to my village. Where they imprisoned me for failure. Still, I lived.

The circumstances in which I met Tsunade were indeed odd. She was Five when I was in my mid thirties. It was a very informal introduction to a small girl and a chapter of my life I thought wouldn't matter.

"OY! KAKUZU!"

I glanced at Hidan. "Were you even listening to me? I asked how the fuck you met, huh?"

I smiled under my mask and turned back to my book.

"Just victims of unfortunate circumstance, nothing more."

Hidan glared at me and huffed, and turned back to watching tv.


	2. Chapter 2: Love Game

Hidan then just shrugged at me not giving up in his question on where we met. "So I take it a bar right?"

I glanced at Hidan. "Why would you just assume that?" I asked calmly.

Hidan rolled his eyes. "Even an idiot like me has herd of the oh-so-infamous, 'legendary sucker'. Gambling, Drinking…. She _would_ go to a bar."

I narrowed my eyes at Hidan. "I…. ran across her in a bar when I was still a rouge ninja, yes."

Hidan raised an eyebrow at me, knowing that what I said must of meant I must of saw her before. But Hidan ignored it.

"So, was that when ya two started fucking up like rabbi.."

I hit Hidan's head so hard his head swiveled 360 degrees around his head.  
"AAHH! OW!" FUCK!" Hidan cursed as he tried to un-kink his neck. "Gonna feel that in the morning." Hidan groaned, moving his head around in large circles. I watched as I herd the sickening sound of the bones in his neck cracking every time. Hidan closed his eyes and rubbed the back of his neck.

"I told you I am simply seeing that woman, nothing more, nothing less."

Hidan rubbed his neck. "But your kissing her and all that gay romance shit right?" I narrowed my eyes at Hidan, who smirked. "I knew it. You fucking like her." He said in a mocking tone.

I raised my hand to hit him. "The more you do that, the more I'll keep pressing on about this, seriously." I lowered my hand. It would do no good to hurt him, and I was previously in a good mood before Hidan ruined it with his prodding questions about my personal life. I turned back to Shakespeare. Hidan smirked and scooted closer on the sofa so he was closer to my chair. "I love how your fucking acting like this is a bad thing. Don't you dare deny you don't like her, cause I can see myself that you do. It's fucking obvious."

I glared deadly at Hidan. "It IS a bad thing you moron. She is the Hokage. We are Akatsuki. Even an 'idiot like you' knows where that must lead."

Hidan cringed slightly. Having put two and two together faster then I could imagine he could. "Hey man, I know, but if you're in love with her, you must trust each other to some extent…"

I felt like I wanted to choke Hidan to death right then and there. Instead, I found myself tightening my grip so hard on my book my nails started tearing at the pages slightly.

"Hidan, you live for death, carnage and destruction. What do you know anything about 'love' you're still just a child."

Hidan looked at me. Mouth agape. He seemed extremely offended I called him a child.

"Fuck you Kakuzu, I only seem like a child to you, because you're ancient, ya fuckin' geezer."

"Perhaps." I replied. Trying to read my book again.

There was a long pause. Then I herd Hidan's annoying voice graze my ears again.

"So… a bar huh? How'd that shit go down?"

I sighed, and set down Hamlet. All I said was, "She was engaged when I met her."

Hidan blinked. "Ehhhh…?"

It was a truly horrid scene I wouldn't dare forget. I met her again nearly fifteen years later after I escaped prison. I ran across her in a small bar, just outside the leaf village. Barely noticeable to any passerby. It was I was still a rouge ninja at the time when I found that little place. I hated spending money on frivolous things, such as alcohol, and other useless pleasures. But, it had been so long since I had a good drink. Plus after my experiences in prison, my village, and the road since my failed assassin attempt, getting drunk off my ass sounded mighty inviting. So I went in.

The first thing I noticed when I walked in was the smell. The ungodly smell of booze, vomit, piss, and smoke. The smell that comes with a shady bar. Strange to say, I missed that smell. I sat down at the counter and ordered some sake right away, not even taking in much of my surroundings. I glanced at the bartender, by his reaction of me, I guessed my size and appearance was intimidating to him. So for just a little laugh, I narrowed my eyes at him, he nearly jumped and broke the dish he was holding. I smirked underneath my mask as I watched him fumble for his drink.

Then I felt the presence of two people on the other side of me.

"Hey barkeep! Two bottles of sake please!" I glanced next to me. There was a girl next to me, probably in her early twenties. She had blonde hair, back in a ponytail, chocolate brown eyes, and rather large breasts. Right next to her was a young man about the same age, with long blue hair. I noticed he wore a blue necklace around his neck that strangely reminded me of 'the heart of the ocean' from that movie, Titanic. One glance and I noticed the konaha leaf headband on his head. My fist tightened. I still held bitter feelings towards konaha for the fate that befell me in prison. It was my own village elders who were incompetent, but it was also Konaha's fault as well.

The guy laughed nervously. "Two bottles? Wow Tsu, your really putting those away aren't you?"

The woman smirked. "One's for you silly, and don't fret, this is a cause for celebration!"

The man smiled lovingly at her. "Still, we have a mission tomorrow, we shouldn't overdo it."

The woman just smiled and gave a quick kiss to the man next to her. Then she turned to me. Which took me by slight surprise. In a setting such as this, one didn't interact with strangers unless they wanted to get some. I doubt that was her case because she was obviously here with her boyfriend.

"Hey stranger, what are you ordering?"

I raised an eyebrow at her. The way she addressed me sounded vaguely familiar, but at that time, that little girl from fifteen years ago never crossed my mind.

"Just some sake." I grunted.

"On me!" she smiled.

I blinked. "What?"

She smiled at me. "This one's on me stranger!"

"Tsu!" The man next to her scolded.

I raised an eyebrow as my drink arrived and as did hers. I poured my own while she drank straight from the bottle, explaining to the barkeep that she was paying for me as well.

"Tsu," the man scolded. "you shouldn't just buy drinks for just anyon…"

"No." I interrupted as I took a sip of the warm liquid. "It's quite alright. I don't mind. As long as it's free."

Blunt to the point. As I always am. The man had an expression on his face as if he were trying not to get pissed off at me.

"What's the occasion?" I asked the woman after an awkward silence.

The woman smiled and laughed after a long drink from the bottle. "We just got engaged!" She giggled as she clinged onto the man's arm, who was now blushing.

I stared at her for a long time. "Hmmm…" was all I said as I slammed my shot, I started pouring another.

The man's eyes narrowed at me. "You could say 'congratulations' or something." I could tell I was making him angry with me. Not my problem.

"Why would I do that?" I asked as I continued drinking.

"Excuse me?" The woman asked.

"One, I don't know you, so why would I wish either of you happiness?"

I noticed the man tensing up. "That's very rude, sir…and"

The woman shook her head, "No Dan, He's right. Really. It's fine. He's just a stranger at a bar after all."

"And two…" I continued.

The couple blinked at me.

I took another drink, hardly noticing I was forgetting to pace myself. I do that if I get angry.

"Marriage is never forever. Things like love are only as lasting this bottle of sake here. You drink it, experience a trill, it's gone and then your left with a hangover the next morning. Love completely useless and a waste of time. I tend to put my trust in things that last forever. Such as money."

The couple stared on at me. The woman rose her seat.

"You starting something, bub?" She raised her fist to hit me, and the man held her back.

"Easy Tsunade, that's just his opinion. I doubt he knows what he's talking about anyway." He whispered aside to her.

Although I herd him. That was not true. It was not true. I knew what I was talking about. My fist tightened on my drink and I took another gulp. I also herd Tsunade's name, but it must have been the alcohol, for it did not fully register to me.

It was about a few minutes of chatting and heavy drinking later, Tsunade and I had gotten into a long discussion about something I forgot. I know that the topic of my crossed out headband came up. She asked if I was a rouge from Takigakure. I only replied that I was. Her fiancé seemed disgusted about the idea of a ninja leaving it's village. I know our conversation probably involved money or love or both, because we went back to the topic I lectured the young couple on before.

"So…" Tsunade giggled. "What's your deal with pissing on love?"

"Hmmm?" I asked, knowing I was drunk, although I wanted to get drunk out of my skull, it happened a little sooner then I expected, and it strange circumstances.

"Ya know what I mean." Tsunade laughed. "Ya seem ta hate all form of anything fun, why's that?"

"Not anti-fun." I responded. "I'm just practical. Love is just a useless thing."

Tsunade laughed and buried her face into the man known as Dan. I blinked. Dan was just sitting there being so quiet, I almost forgot he existed. I think he was sober, but it was hard for me to tell.

"Why's that? Ya jus' don't know what your sayin because your old single and alone…I'm happy."

I then grabbed her arm, and pulled her close to my face. She blushed, or was her face flushed from the alcohol? "Don't ever say I don't know what I'm talking about." I growled threateningly.

Tsunade blinked her heavy eyelids at me.

Now I knew here, it was mostly the alcohol talking at this moment, I'm always slightly more open once I've had a few drinks, not by much though. I couldn't stop the words coming out of my mouth.

"A long time ago…. Before I left my village…."

Shut up Kakuzu. Shut up. Shut up. Don't tell two strangers this, don't tell anyone this.

"I had a girlfriend. We planned to get married, like you two."

Shut up dammit, just shut up.

"Her name was Alessi. She had flowing long black hair, and deep brown eyes like yours. She was so beautiful."

Shut up Kakuzu, just get out of here. Rent a room somewhere, call it a night. Go home. Stop talking.

"We were poor, and had little money, but it didn't matter as long as we where happy, you would think that wouldn't you?"

Kakuzu. Shut up. Stop talking about this. Stop thinking about this.

"I was sent on a difficult mission by our own village elders, I failed the darn thing, and they imprison me. I was so angry, the only thing that kept me sane was the thought of when I get out, I can see her. I could get married to her."

I felt my eyes trying not to tear up. Dammit, Kakuzu, I told you to shut up.

"I broke out, and murdered my elders for their cruelty for my imprisonment."

Your too drunk Kakuzu, stop talking, rent a room.

"I went back to my girl, but she wasn't at our apartment, where was she?"

My eyes were welling up slightly. I refused to let any of them show.

"She was with some rich man. Living with him. And the skank, took one look at THESE.."

I pointed at the stitches on my mouth, and showed Tsunade the stitches on my arms and held them in front of her face. So she was forced to look at them.

"And she said she hated me for what a horrible freak of nature I had become. She broke up and disowned me, and went and lived with the richest man in our village. Only because he had more money then I. She left me for money. She's a cheating little gold digger is what she was. Back then, I used to think money didn't matter. I bet you can see what made me change my mind, the whore."

Tsunade and Dan just stared at me. Not really sure what to say. Why couldn't I kept that to myself, although, I half thought that, another half of that, I felt good to finally tell that to SOMEBODY. Only if they are only strangers in a bar.

"But I miss her." I added. I knew I lost myself to the alcohol here.

There was a long pause between me and Tsunade. It was then I noticed how close we were to each other. I could feel her breath on my lips. Dan blended into the furniture again. I hardly noticed him. I still couldn't tell if he was sober, or as drunk as I was.

"What happened to her?" she asked finally.

"She died, along with her rich boyfriend." I said pointy. "But when she died. Her money stayed behind. Her love died also along with her. Money is forever. Love dies."

I saw Tsunade have tears in her eyes, which surprised me. My life was tragic, sure, but it made her cry? Tsunade buried her head into what I thought was a chair, but when the chair spoke, I realized it was Dan.

"Are you okay, honey?"

Tsunade just shook her head. "I'm fine… I'm fine… I'm just being stupid…." She was shaking. Dan wrapped his arms around her. I stared at them together. My mind made a mental snapshot of that image, but I saw Alessi in Tsunade for a brief moment of fragileness and I saw Dan as myself.

'kakuzu, I can't keep loving you like this. Don't you see? Your poor, you became a freak, and you even killed our leaders. What is wrong with you, you changed.'

'I only did everything for you Alessi….'

' Don't hold me.'

I turned my head away from the couple. Love. It makes me sick.

I herd Dan's voice again. "You wanta go? Wanta go home?"

I glanced back. Tsunade had tears running down her face, down her chin and onto the swell of her breasts. She shook her head, yes. She stood up, which must have been a little to sudden because she stumbled, but Dan steadied her. Tsunade got out a little money and paid for my drink(s) like she promised. As I watched her go, leaning on her fiancé, she turned her head back at me and asked,

"I'm sorry stranger, but I didn't catch your name?"

Maybe it was the alcohol again, or the way she said stranger, but it was then, I realized this was the same little girl I met at Hashirama's mansion. His granddaughter. And I knew the beauty standing before me was the same little girl I met fifteen years ago. The little distraction that saved my life.

I then smiled at her. "Kakuzu." I said in a tone that sounded suggestive. Which really surprised me. How much had I been drinking?

Tsunade gasped as she herd my name. She seemed to remember me. Dan held her, "You okay?" He asked. Tsunade stared at me for a lingering moment. "Yeah…." She said slowly. "I… I think I need to go…." Dan nodded, and helped her out of the building.

I kept staring at her until she left. She was getting married. I wish death on both of them. I then felt a hand on my shoulder. I stared at an anbu in a mask with a strange pattern, and spiky hair.

"Hello, Kakuzu. You might know me." He removed part of his mask and as drunk as I was, I recognized his face right away. After all, he was infamous.

"Uchiha Madara?" I whispered. "You set the nine tails lose on konaha when I was still a little boy and the wars were beginning. Everyone thought you died years ago."

"I know." Madara replied as he put his mask on.

"I herd your little conversation there with your little girlfriend there."

I glared at him, ready to fight.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone about your ex. I was more interested that you killed the Elder leaders of Takigakure. That was you fifteen years ago?"

I nodded against better judgment.

I herd a change in Madara's voice that suggested he was smiling. "Is it also true you stole their hearts?"

I nodded. "Four hearts. Plus my own." I responded.

"It was you that killed your girlfriend and her new boyfriend wasn't it, ?"

A pause. I nodded, and realized the tears were still in my eyes from before. They didn't fall.

"I thought so."

Madara put his hand on my shoulder. "I'm founding a group called the Akatsuki, and I think you might be interested in it. We'll talk tomorrow. Same place."

Madara got up and left me. I stared blankly at my reflection in my shot glass. And I realized, clique as it may sound, love stinks.

"Engaged? No shit?" Hidan asked me. "And you had a crush on her? Seriously?"

"Why are you so interested all of a sudden?" I responded bitterly.

"Eh…" Hidan raised an eyebrow. "I was just curious…. And I'm bored, and there's nothing good on t.v."

I glared at him. "You'd tell everyone if I told you. I see right through you."

Hidan laughed. "Damn, okay, you have a right to be suspicious of me, seriously. But really, I won't tell a soul, man."

I glared at him. "You'd tell Pein. He'd have me kicked out for betrayal."

Hidan laughed his crazed insane laugh I herd so many times. "Tempting, but really. I wouldn't do that to you."

"Why not?"

Hidan smirked. "We're immortal. That's why our partnership works."

I smirked underneath my mask. Then I thought of Tsunade. I remember the way she said it too me when we realized our feelings, "This isn't love. That word is too dangerous. We'll see how this 'gamble' plays out, Stranger."

"Ya know I'd like to meet this 'lovely lady' of yours sometime."

"Not a chance, idiot." I said as I threw the book I was reading at him.


End file.
